U K shamed by Prominent Personality

No, it's not Prince Harry. I'm very much inclined to cut him some slack - that's the way boys talk to one another (and worse) and I don't believe any malice, racial or otherwise, was intended. At least, after yet another gaff, we need be in no doubt that Harry has inherited Prince Philip's genes and is therefore, without doubt, his father's son. But Kate Winslet - what were you thinking?! Cringe, cringe, cringe! And now you've cooked your goose as far as an Oscar's concerned - who could risk a repeat performance of such orgasmic embarrassment?

Why?? What!!

Why is Sharon Shoesmith (and others) suspended on full pay? What is Ed Balls going to do about it? When will we ever get these things right?

So.. George W's greatest regret of his presidency is the "intelligence failure" regarding Sadaam's WMD's 'cos otherwise, you know, he wouldn't have dreamed of invading Iraq.....

es un escandalo!

Was it xenophobia, patriotism or a strategic remark of Simon Cowell's ("proud to be British") which brought about the demise of Spanish rocker, the talented if jarringly named Ruth Lorenzo, on X Factor last night? Whatever the reason, it was a travesty given that, the stellar Alexandra Burke aside, we are left with the disappointingly one trick pony Diana Vickers who can't even hold a tune after her bout of laryngitis, well below average boring boy band, JLS, and Eoghan Quigg, an adolescent hobbit beloved of tweenies and grannies. If Alexandra doesn't win...well who cares? Brian and I are off to the States for a couple of weeks and by the time we get back the whole nonsense will be just so much recycling or, in these economically lethargic times, yet more landfill.

No One likes a Know-it-all

We have a new cat in our lives. Before you think Sir W has gone soft, the feline in question belongs to Daughter (and Boyfriend) Number 3 and therefore resides at a safe distance in Brighton. She is jet black and slinky and called Circe (pron. ser-say) after the sorceress in Greek mythology and not Fur Face, as initially and erroneously reported by Brian. When we met for the first time last weekend I immediately noticed that something was amiss with her right eye, an apparently malicious suggestion which was greeted with universal disdain. Last night Daughter and BF 3 shelled out £40 at the Vet's for eye drops and were placed on cat flu alert.

Last week I was urged to watch the Tuesday edition of Egg Heads because the new(ish) wife of the ex-husband of a good friend was one of the challengers. She Who Is not to be Admired and her team put up a good showing which impressed my mother-in-law who seemed strangely disinclined to believe that I, too, had known all the answers (who doesn't know about "langues de chats" yawned Sir W).

I have another good friend (believe it or not) who recently waxed lyrical on the gratification of being old enough to know everything. Well, at some 12 years her junior (a fact which, despite an otherwise razor-sharp intellect, she invariably manages to "forget") I sometimes feel I have reached a similar level of omniscience but without the universal acclaim. Of course, I haven't routed any builders or got the whole street a significant reduction on their Council Tax so I am not a local hero and, my recent CAB training aside, never expect to be. However, a little more appreciation from ones' own family members (Sir W excepted) wouldn't come amiss especially from Brian who, for the first time in 32 years of marriage, has taken to "popping" home at lunch time and daring to complain about the "state" of the house. Today, when leaving with a flea in his ear, he tripped over of the three pairs of his shoes which have been gracing the hall for the past 2 weeks. Perhaps my efforts are not going entirely unrecognised after all.

No Man. Date

So John Sergeant reads my blog! Well, perhaps not but good on yer, John, and I look forward to your farewell performance on Saturday night - no hard feelings. And last Saturday on X Factor decidedly dicey Daniel finally bit the dust so all is well in the world of reality TV except:

1. "I'm a Celebrity.." has just started - I barely recognise any of the "Names" and will not be watching, honest.

2. It has been rumoured - and, I believe, corroborated - that Peter (Lord) Mandelson is dying to be asked to participate in "Strictly" next year. This cannot happen.* I doubt even the lovely and infinitely resourceful Christina Rianoff could make a silk purse out of that particular pig's ear although Mandy's preference would presumably to be placed in the firm and capable hands of Anton du Beck or perhaps that nice new boy from California.

*Members of the Government should be barred from popular TV.
** The exposure of P. M. in a black see-through chiffon shirt? - let's not go there - ever!!

Potzamoney!

Brian, who has become very news conscious in recent weeks and not always in relation to the progress of the Icesave reimbursement, has pointed out to me a snippet about preparations for the 2012 Olympics. Apparently, pot plants, as opposed to flower bouquets, will be presented to medal winners. Not only is this deemed to be more "green" but has the added advantage that the potted plants should last longer, possibly even long enough to be taken back in triumph to the home country ( import restrictions may apply). You will not be surprised to hear that I have a better idea which is not only even greener but also more in tune with the spirit of the"Austerity Games". If we must have flowers, let's have a number of tasteful artificial bouquets made up, present them to the Olympians for the duration of the medal ceremony only, then claw them back for the next lot. When the Shindig is over, let Boris' mum/wife/mistress pick her favourite for the mantelpiece and distribute the rest to local hospitals, nursing homes etc. Brilliant, though I say so myself.

Aldi treats of the week:

Tilapia (frozen fish counter - almost as good as any eaten in Texas)
Stollen Bites (Xmas goodies - delish)
Goat's cheese Curly Crackers (nibbles - very goaty)

Also coming this Thursday- and only/mainly for the girls - a "Swarowski Style Laptop" in pink or white. Yours for a very competitive £499.99 and co-incidentally to within 1p of the amount allocated to Daughter Number 3 by her employer for the purchase of "I T Equipment". "How cool is that, Miss?!"

A little shop with Horror

Yesterday afternoon, for want of any other diversion, I took Brian into town with me. For one thing, we needed to find him a new shirt to wear to the wedding we are attending in Grand Cayman (whoo-hoo) in December. A suitable item was found surprisingly quickly, in fact surprisingly full stop, in our local M&S (it was the smallest branch in the UK in 1977 and I doubt it has lost that doubtful claim to fame in the intervening years). To be on the safe side, and despite their redoubtable returns policy, Brian decided to "try before we buy". Size "L" (anno domini and all that) was given the thumbs up and I left him to get back into his own shirt and jacket while I bagged a spot in the speedily lengthening till queue (note the singular). Five minutes later he was still in the cubicle while outside a coterie of elderly ladies waited patiently to try on acrylic Christmas twin sets. With seconds to spare he joined me as I was summoned to the till. "What have you been doing?" I hissed. "Putting back all the pins and plastic packaging - it's taken me ages" says he, proudly. As well as the shirt, Brian had also (self) selected a pack of colour co-ordinated sports socks (to replace the ones he insisted I had "done something with" which were later found slowly bio-degrading in his sports bag along with the rest of his kit from Tuesday's wet run). Size 6 - 71/2? chirped the cashier. Wrong - Brian dashes back to the sock aisle and returns triumphant. Size 11 - 13? Wrong again and the crowd is getting restive. "I'm sorry, I knew it was a mistake to bring him", I smile conspiratorially at the lady behind the till who is also the mother of one of Daughter Number 3's old school friends. Finally, socks in size 8 - 10 are found and purchased. Brian feigns insouciance but trails behind me like a naughty school boy. "I could have got it right" he mutters defiantly, "If only you hadn't put me off by finding that shirt!!"

"Effective, determined and committed" is how 60 headteachers in the London borough of Haringay have described Head of Children's Services, Sharon Shoesmith, in a letter asking that she not lose her job over the Baby P affair. How, I wonder, if he had lived long enough to formulate an opinion, would Baby P have described the lady and her team of social workers, many of whom were apparently deployed in local schools and not investigating the plight of a helpless toddler held captive by and at the mercy of the sadistic tormentors who, we now learn, had earlier abused his sister? Social work is not meant to be an easy option; it takes a certain type of temperament to do the job properly. I don't think I could do it and if I were a social worker in Haringay I know I'd rather be based in a school than going, possibly alone, into the dwellings of violent and amoral individuals to check on the welfare of their children. But I hope if I had had even a suspicion of what was happening to Baby P, I would have acted to remove him from that home, secure in the support of my department and its boss. Sharon Shoesmith held the top job, was paid top dollar to do that job properly and the buck stops with her. That's the deal. She should be deeply ashamed but not only has she refused to apologise or shoulder any responsibility for the belief-beggaring failure of her department, she now has her daughter telling the media to "stop picking on my Mum" - a signal lapse of judgement which Brian, in an uncharacteristic but nonetheless welcome intervention, pronounced to be "a sacking offence in its own right, in my book." My only hope now is that the Children's Secretary finds some balls and takes action to properly protect children at risk, not their parents and certainly not incompetent, complacent public servants - and then I won't have to get these heavy matters off my chest and can concentrate on bringing Brian to book instead.