Little House on the Patio

I bought a house today! I rang Brian at lunchtime and said I was going to do it and he said, "Okay, whatever you think best." No, really. So I did and it is just perfect - not too big, not too small, great location and totally maintenance free as not only are the windows plastic the roof and walls are too. Of course it is for Sir William and although the official description was "small dog kennel" he has lost no time in colonising it. In fact, so enamoured is he of his new toy - much like a toddler with a Wendy House or tent that he was snoozing in there from 2 pm until 10.30 pm, the latter hours on Brian's watch while GF and I were out seeing "Sex and the City, the Movie" (Q. should Big have been forgiven? Discuss). Obviously Brian had forgotten the maxim that you never let a baby nap too long in the day in case they are up all night... And so it was that as Brian retired to bed in a sulk, GF and I had our re-run of "The Apprentice" ruined by William in Werecat mode, venting his spleen on the upholstery, examining the chimney as a possible escape route and, worst of all, pointing his rear end at the mirror on my Grandma's washstand and vibrating his tail in a very suspect manner. Talking of suspect, if ever a reality programme was rigged it is "The Apprentice". Who in their right mind would waste time on any of them - one tells lies and can't spell, another thinks the fact that he is "only 24" should be a passport to the top and another is attempting to break the glass ceiling with the sheer force and volume of her tongue. They are all foul-mouthed and certainly do not have "great fluency in English" as claimed in one CV. Post interview, they are all worried that they didn't "articulate" or "convey " themselves as well as they would have wished. Well here's another transport metaphor for you - "Gerr on yer bikes!!"