I know we're in the middle of the "Silly Season" as far as the Media are concerned but, connoisseur of any time telly as I am, it seems to me that any time is silly time these days. At no point was this more apparent than during BBC Breakfast TV last Thursday morning. Squawking in the background of our Travel Lodge bedroom as Brian and I donned our finery in preparation for Daughter No 3's graduation, we soon became aware that the same Top Tips for a variety of life events were being regurgitated approximately every 15 minutes. These were:
Top Tips for what to do if you come across a turtle stranded on one of Britain's bleaker beaches (on no account allow it back into the water).
Top Tips for what to do when bitten by an adder (sorry - must have been in the bathroom or using the hairdryer but feel quite safe in Twitcher's Turning backyard)
Top tips for minimising our rapidly escalating energy bills. This item was particularly and hilariously irritating as a scarily hyperactive presenter burst into various rooms in "your average 3 bedroom home" and in turn admonished innocently computer game- playing teens and kettle- boiling grannies to switch off, turn down, or invest in a low energy model - advice he would have been better off applying to himself.
And this from the BBC no less, which, like all broadcasters, seems to have espoused the National Curriculum dictat of manageable blocks of "sound bite" teaching, repeated ad nauseam for the duration of the programme/lesson. Last night I watched, and listened with mounting incredulity to "Dangerous Jobs for Girls" (Channel 4, 10 pm) the premise of which was the introduction of 3 high-achieving British Career girls to a logging camp in the wilds of NW Canada where they would be "trained and tested" over a 2 week period to see if they were good enough to fall (sic) a tree; a process, which, for a mere man, normally takes several months. Poor little Tracy, in a high-up but ill-defined position in business, was a no hoper from the get-go, PhD (Gender Studies) student Helen offered the most promising temperament and physique while Army captain, Anna, understood not the slighte
st thing about female emancipation and richly deserved the kick up her pert little backside which most of the non-plussed loggers were practically queueing up to administer. The very worst thing about this ill-conceived and patently fraudulent project, however, was not the token females but the voice-over by Matthew McFadyn: infuriating repetition was a given but the lugubrious gravitas with which he intoned his fatuous commentary would have knocked the late Richard Dimbleby's discourse on a state funeral into a cocked hat.
When did Britain get to be so dumb? About the same time universities started awarding "Certificates of Post - 16 Compulsory Education" to capped and gowned recipients at degree giving ceremonies. I was prepared to swallow my indignation (on behalf of those students, and their parents, who had studied, worked and paid their way through 3 or 4 years to achieve an honours degree) until, only minutes after receiving her degree and before her lips had even touched the "complimentary" glass of champagne, the gown was almost torn from our daughter's back by a stressed out hiring agent who complained, quite rightly, that such was the vastly increased volume of today's "graduates", he hadn't been allocated enough time to prepare for the afternoon session. One of the enduring memories of my brief career as a secondary school "Cover Supervisor" (one of the Government's more mendacious euphemisms) is the flabbergasting (ancient Brit. slang for "gobsmacking") egocentricity of a frightening number of our schoolchildren, most of whom labour under the illusion (apparently created by their parents and perpetuated by the Government's insistence on "equality and inclusivity") that they are all Super Stars deserving of the greatest indulgence and respect whilst showing none and, tragically, learning next to nothing because, like Clever Clogs Captain Anna, they think they already know it all - at 11 years of age. Was ever a Minister for Education more aptly named?
Top Tips for what to do if you come across a turtle stranded on one of Britain's bleaker beaches (on no account allow it back into the water).
Top Tips for what to do when bitten by an adder (sorry - must have been in the bathroom or using the hairdryer but feel quite safe in Twitcher's Turning backyard)
Top tips for minimising our rapidly escalating energy bills. This item was particularly and hilariously irritating as a scarily hyperactive presenter burst into various rooms in "your average 3 bedroom home" and in turn admonished innocently computer game- playing teens and kettle- boiling grannies to switch off, turn down, or invest in a low energy model - advice he would have been better off applying to himself.
And this from the BBC no less, which, like all broadcasters, seems to have espoused the National Curriculum dictat of manageable blocks of "sound bite" teaching, repeated ad nauseam for the duration of the programme/lesson. Last night I watched, and listened with mounting incredulity to "Dangerous Jobs for Girls" (Channel 4, 10 pm) the premise of which was the introduction of 3 high-achieving British Career girls to a logging camp in the wilds of NW Canada where they would be "trained and tested" over a 2 week period to see if they were good enough to fall (sic) a tree; a process, which, for a mere man, normally takes several months. Poor little Tracy, in a high-up but ill-defined position in business, was a no hoper from the get-go, PhD (Gender Studies) student Helen offered the most promising temperament and physique while Army captain, Anna, understood not the slighte
st thing about female emancipation and richly deserved the kick up her pert little backside which most of the non-plussed loggers were practically queueing up to administer. The very worst thing about this ill-conceived and patently fraudulent project, however, was not the token females but the voice-over by Matthew McFadyn: infuriating repetition was a given but the lugubrious gravitas with which he intoned his fatuous commentary would have knocked the late Richard Dimbleby's discourse on a state funeral into a cocked hat.When did Britain get to be so dumb? About the same time universities started awarding "Certificates of Post - 16 Compulsory Education" to capped and gowned recipients at degree giving ceremonies. I was prepared to swallow my indignation (on behalf of those students, and their parents, who had studied, worked and paid their way through 3 or 4 years to achieve an honours degree) until, only minutes after receiving her degree and before her lips had even touched the "complimentary" glass of champagne, the gown was almost torn from our daughter's back by a stressed out hiring agent who complained, quite rightly, that such was the vastly increased volume of today's "graduates", he hadn't been allocated enough time to prepare for the afternoon session. One of the enduring memories of my brief career as a secondary school "Cover Supervisor" (one of the Government's more mendacious euphemisms) is the flabbergasting (ancient Brit. slang for "gobsmacking") egocentricity of a frightening number of our schoolchildren, most of whom labour under the illusion (apparently created by their parents and perpetuated by the Government's insistence on "equality and inclusivity") that they are all Super Stars deserving of the greatest indulgence and respect whilst showing none and, tragically, learning next to nothing because, like Clever Clogs Captain Anna, they think they already know it all - at 11 years of age. Was ever a Minister for Education more aptly named?
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