Eye-watering

I've just returned from having my Viking throw back eyebrows waxed at a beauty parlour on the outskirts of Middletown. Again the results are unsatisfactory: despite my clear request for ruthlessness, my white blond and, let it be said, ginger caterpillars look like they've been nibbled by a very polite gerbil and here I am once again, tweezers and magnifying mirror in hand, doing what I've just paid the equivalent of £84 ($168) an hour not to have to do. In the Vietnamese-run Walmart franchise in Houston, I enjoyed a merciless pruning for just $5.00 plus $3.00 tip and didn't have to repeat the experience for at least 8 weeks, despite the growth promoting effects of extreme humidity. Nor did I have to give an account about what I did/will do at the weekend - an exercise I'd hoped to leave behind in primary school. So I've got my pink and furry eyes out for a new venue and my requirements are few: it doesn't have to be posh, you can cut the tosh, just know how to quash and charge less dosh! Any recommendations?